Obviously it was a year where anyone who continued to breath, lived. Yes and unashamedly enough I called dibs on Captain Obvious throne right there. Crucify me! But wait not yet. Allow me this last dance.
Because frankly I didn’t think by my subjective assessment that it was truly and wholly a bad year. I mean yes it was to small and varying margins, an undulating and indecisive year who for majority of the time, like a kid in the candy store, didn’t know what it wanted for certain but kept cutting across different items till he had soiled everything and eventually left with nothing; it was in that way I gazed upon 2016.
The beginning was like a new world with a sun burning with rage, eager to shine, fervent for exhibition. And then it glided into unforeseen eclipse, casting darkness on everyone who had believed in its power, hands akimbo, rolling eyes, questioning the collective intelligence of the human race.
For me, I had had bad years and some worse years. It was based on those experiences I laughed at every tantrum 2016 attempted to throw because I couldn’t see how you could break what was already infinitesimally broken or destroy what was never built.
It was this year I started things my future self would be proud of. It is not every instant in time that your future self unites with your past actions over certain good your present self at a point in time carried out. To say thank you, little rebel, you almost ruined everything but your greedy self saved some for later.
I had great opportunities to meet people who shared similar dreams with my dreaming self and whose drive was constantly on ignition. I took great steps, depending on what scale you measured with, towards some of my goals. I had some little failures, not wholly hazardous but still failures nonetheless and learnt from them. And yes a fair share of disappointments. They came in power bullet spouts. Piercing my chest like unforgiving darts. Look I didn’t have a bullet proof. I needed one. But I couldn’t afford the luxury. No man necessarily died by absence of luxury because it turns out the most essential of luxuries was in the air till the lungs says, no, you have had enough.
If I had a magic wand – do real humans even have that? – And I could go back to the past to begin 2016 all over again – why would I even do that? I would break the wand because to do otherwise would be to accept to go back to the end of 2015. Godforbid I see another year like 2015. It would be better that I had not been born because then I would have been beautiful.
Still I look back at 2016 with Stockholm Syndrome as she takes her leave. I am tempted to ask her to stay a while, sit a little, have a drink so we might talk for an eon. I have never known a year like her so forgive my passive nostalgia. Every year comes with different dynamics and expectations.
But as 2016 walks away, living me alone, signaling the end of what was to be a beautiful beginning in principle, I realize all things have an end. I think this year I would be killing this blog as an alternative to concentrating focus on other obligations. I imagine it would be a beautiful end. Looking back I didn’t think to come this far and the support has been amazing.
2016, it’s been nice knowing you because introspectively I knew myself more by knowing you. What I didn’t know was what you were trying to do. Seriously man you should have gotten a grip. But I understand if grips frighten you for I too am claustrophobic. Put me in narrow walls and this world would burn upside down, sun pushed far right, mouths wide open, eyes tightly shut; you thought the Armageddon was games, look at you now.
On the observable whole every view, comment and read on this page has been mind-blowing, appreciated and continues to humble me everyday with a different kind of wistfulness because sometimes when you take a leap in the sky you never know if your parachute will ever open. Mine did. The fall didn’t last forever, the crash didn’t hurt and the love was true. I hate to be the one to draw the curtains but the light outside blinds me. Thanks for the memories. It started almost two years ago; it would be better if it ended now.