Has it been long since we last spoke? I have had exams piling up in all directions threatening to reduce my life expectancy. But in all of these, in all of the mayhem, bedlam, and organized western frenzy something good happened to me and I have wanted to tell you since time immemorial.
I got one of the things I have always wanted and I felt so happy I became inordinately scared because happiness in my life is like droplets of silver in rivers of gold. But yeah I was happy and it felt really good. I felt like I was in a world void of flaws and nothing sinister happened to me or anyone else. Everyone just woke up every day knowing depravity was not an alternative and I think that really made them happier. But I am not sure.
I will tell you more about this happiness but I can’t. Suppose someone else stumbles upon this letter? Then they would know who I am. And of course you would know too. Our friendship up until now has been built on anonymity and I don’t want to ruin something as good as this.
I have also felt a lot better about myself because like I said; since we last spoke different good things have happened to me. One of those days I went out like every other day. I thought I looked good. I am not sure. One is never really sure about these things. But on that day there was this girl down the hallway and we were walking towards each in perfectly straight lines. And I felt her eyes in mine. I felt it up until the point we came within audible distance and she passed. And it wasn’t just that. From the side of my eyes I could see her turn to take a second glance at me. It really did feel like an approval to me. No one ever took a second glance at me and meant it positively. So I went on throughout the entire day beaming with inward excitedness.
No one commented or said anything good or bad about my appearance the entire day which didn’t surprise me. I have never been the most exceedingly good or mediocrely terrible kid ever. I have always somehow been up there, not really up but not too down all the same. Just somewhere floating amicably in the middle. The not so bad not so good kid. If I was a singing river and indeed some rivers did sing, but if I was one, my name would be the Middle C. I don’t know if you get that pun but my professor always says puns should never be explained. So I hope you got it and also hope you take some music classes whenever convenient.
Music classes are soothing in a different kind of way. My best friend always insisted with the ferocity of a scorching haze that I attend my music classes. And indeed I always did then. But I stopped as soon as she was gone.
But last week I went one more time. And memories sipped out like volcanic ash at the crater of a disturbed natural monument. But it was a cold volcanic ash kind of memory because they were all happy ones. And I strummed the guitar like I have never strummed before. I strummed it just the way every guitar wanted to be strummed. I tell you what, it was almost like the happiness of the world depended on the strumming guitar of a young sad boy. And in that moment peak sadness ceased for a while and peak happiness debuted at the crater of the active volcanoes. And there was an eruption of cold warmth. And everyone was happy like a beneficial volcanic eruption moved seamlessly within diverging tectonic earth plates.
Thanks for your attention once again and I hope that you are happy too. And if you are not I believe you would find happiness reading this and maybe peak happiness sometime in the near future. No one really knows what the future brings. It is always uncertainties. But hopefully it is a good kind of uncertainty. The kind that makes you want to live for another second. Till next time.